


Alcohol

by babbitly



Category: Karneval
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1684943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babbitly/pseuds/babbitly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was for yoreki week day 4</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> i never posted this to ao3 for some reason after yoreki week, so here.   
> sorry again.   
> this hurts me.

The alcohol that’s burning a trail down Gareki’s throat tastes like shit. But then again he isn’t really too concerned with how it tastes. As long as it has a high alcohol content, and can make him forget, then he doesn’t even care. Gareki sighs, closes his eyes, and rips the goggles off his head, throwing them across the room. He hears them smack loudly against the wall and grits his teeth together.

There’s no way in hell Yogi’s really gone.

Gareki still sees his smile, as bright as the fucking sun, in every memory he has. He hears that annoyingly sweet voice dance through his mind as Yogi calls out for him. “Gareki-Kun!” He smells the warm scent Yogi carried all over his own sheets and clothes. And if he closes his eyes and imagines it hard enough, it’s like Yogi is still lying next to him in bed.

But he’s not.

Gareki knows Yogi is gone.

He saw him lying there, body twisted and broken but still beautiful. His tangle of thorns cracked and shattered around him, unable to save him like they usually did. The wild smile from his silver haired persona still firmly in place even though his eyes were dull and hard.

Gareki shakes his head, trying to block himself from that image, and takes a swig of the foul liquid. Yeah it’s awful, but the end result is worth the taste.

Gareki knows Yogi’s dead, knows that his brightness has been snuffed out by some Varuga that Gareki swears on his life he’s going to kill.

But-

Gareki can tell himself that Yogi’s dead a thousand times, and he’s pretty sure that he already has, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever accept it.

Gareki feels Yogi in the walls of this damn airship. Feels Yogi’s laughter down to his bones when he remembers it. Feels Yogi’s presence that always felt like the fucking sunshine, coming from every corner of his room. His memory of Yogi is everywhere so how is he supposed to forget something that is always around him?

Hirato told him he didn’t have to forget Yogi. That he shouldn’t try to make himself forget him. That he should remember Yogi and keep him in his memories. But that hurts too damn much. Gareki just wants him back. So Tsukitachi gave him a better option. He handed Gareki a glass of clear liquid and tossed one back himself, “To Yogi,” the first ship captain had said, tilting his head.

And then Gareki felt warm again. A different kind of warm, but it was the closest he’d felt to Yogi’s warmth since that day that he doesn’t want to think about anymore.  

Gareki closes his eyes, slams his head back against the wall, and brings the glass bottle up to his lips again.

It’s burns in his mouth. It burns its way down his esophagus. And keeps burning after he’s swallowed hard and choked from the taste. But at least he’s warm. His whole fucking body is warm now and he feels his legs tingling. The liquor wraps itself around him and makes his head dull, so it doesn’t hurt at all when he slams his head against the wall again. It doesn’t hurt when the shit storm of emotions that’s eating at his body tries to surface. Doesn’t hurt that much when he thinks about the boy who was a literal ray of fucking sunshine being gone forever.

Because everything is dull. Everything is warm.

He knows it won’t be this way in the morning but for now he just needs this release, needs this warmth and numbness.

Gareki tilts the bottle of alcohol back again and waits for more of the burn. 

 


End file.
